But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
