I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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