Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize