Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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