OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
