He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
