just come out here and I will go home with you...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
