I am in a vortex of obligation.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
