If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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