I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
