just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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