Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
