I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
