I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
