Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
