I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
