Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
