oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize