Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
