Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
