is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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