It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
