Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
