you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
