Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
