census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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