so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
