I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
where am i from again
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize