Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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