I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
