We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
