One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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