I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
