i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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