i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
