I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
