So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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