I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
