Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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