I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize