she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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