FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
