His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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