I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
