do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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