he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
