Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just cropdusted the office
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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