mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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