Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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