So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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