god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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