You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
