i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
