i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
