Is it normal to miss your booty call?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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