Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
