Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
