Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
