So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
