haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
