Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
