I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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