he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
