i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
