I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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