"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
