New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
