my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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