Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
